What If They Vaped? Fictional Characters and Their Vaping Products
What If They Vaped? Fictional Characters and Their Vaping Products
Pondering nonsensical “what-if’s” can be one of the best pastimes in life. If you’re creative enough (or enjoy doing really extensive and unimportant research) you can come up with “what-if” scenarios that end up being arguably the most dead on ideas, that can almost seem 100% legit.
I had such absurdly silly creative juices flowing, as well as a deep repertoire of products to research using the EightVape “devices” and “vape juice” sections to solidly convince me of what some of our most beloved fictional characters would use if they vaped. Based on functionality, style, personality, and my own general understanding of these characters I have garnered over twenty-something odd nerdy years I have compiled a list I deem accurate. You can’t deny the accuracy, this is backed by science! (Kind of).
Our first character on this list is an unmatchable movie villain recognized around the world. It’s everybody’s favorite ro-bo-dad, Darth Vader. Now seeing as he already breathes like how a loud vape sounds this is easy. He’d obviously go for the kit that best matches his dramatically villainous outfit that inspired his future grandson to become so emo. Therefore Darth Vader vapes with a Pioneer4You iPV Xyanide 200W Kit.
The boxy, sturdy, all black mod would match perfectly with his chunky, all-black, space armor. Vapor would reflect off his shiny black mask, that so closely resembles this chassis, as he engages in some dope zero gravity vape tricks (Also just imagine the possibilities of vape tricks when you have the power to force-push those clouds all over the place). It’s full of dark power, just like his dark-sided self. As for his signature flavor, no doubt in my mind he would be in an explosive mood after destroying Alderaan and go for TNT Menthol to match his icy heart.
Let’s lighten the mood with a more cheerful character, but who has had an equal effect on pop culture. You know her from the 90’s, you know her from walking into any Forever 21, googling Vaporwave, and that one Yung Lean song. It’s Sailor Moon. And she comes bearing the Uwell Nunchaku Starter kit (in rainbow, obviously).
Along with Luna and all her Sailor friends, Sailor Moon enjoys saving us all from the forces of evil… and filling the Nunchaku Sub-Ohm tank with Sungrazer E-Liquid by Space Jam, a delicious lemon cake treat to vape for an out of this world taste.
Next on the list is a character a bit more stoic and serious, while still whimsical and eccentric. Sherlock Holmes is a world famous fictional detective who has captured the attention of die hard fans in the form of books, television series, and blockbuster films. His signature pipe and aggressive smoking habits have followed him in every reincarnation he’s had since his birth in Victorian England. It’s time for the man of mystery to switch do a healthier alternative. The best way to do that is hand him a nifty gadget. I would give him none other than the Tesla Punk 220W TC Box Mod. Sherlock is going to need a powerful device to give him those strong puffs he craves, and with 220 Watt(son’s) he will undoubtedly find it with this device. With a compact design, it can easily be slipped into his pocket when chasing down evil-doers. And with chassis that screams steampunk it will look exquisitely fashionable with his eccentric Victorian era garbs.
And what E-liquid is he vaping, you ask? It’s a no-brainer. Mighty Vapors Frozen Mystery Pop. He’ll never not be without a case to solve, vaping this juice all day and pondering its unknown contents.
While on the subject of famed British fictional characters, let's discuss what Harry Potter would be vaping. Hiding under his invisibility cloak, making clouds as he crams before a Defense Against The Dark Arts class, you may think Harry would be holding a portable stick or pen style vape, similar in shape to that of a wand. But my research has found that Harry would more likely wish to hold onto a sturdy mod with a classic look and feel to it. Therefore, in the magical hands of the boy who lived is The Pioneer4You IPV8 TC Box Mod. With a mature, industrialized, trim, and structural chassis Harry Potter would look quite classy in the halls of Hogwarts with this device.
And what magical scents would follow him as he left a trail of clouds behind? Obviously ButtaBeer Vape Juice Green, full of the mystical properties of smooth and creamy buttercream ice cream flavors with spectral butterscotch swirls of deliciousness.
Since this device is unlike most closed system pods, Elle can refill her Suorin Air V2 with any of her favorite E-Liquids. Liquids like Keep It 100’s Pink Burst, with explosive tastes of strawberry pink taffy.
There are other busy fictional characters out there who need devices that are easy and efficient to keep their hectic lives running smooth. But this particular busy character isn’t all about being discreet. Tony Stark AKA Iron Man would obviously carry around his favorite high-tech vape, The SMOK I-Priv 230W Voice Control Mod. With voice control activation just like his JARVIS powered suit, this device is top of the line, snazzy, and attention grabbing, all the key qualities of Mr. Stark. Of course he would get it in red and gold.
And of course, he would fill any of the compatible SMOK tanks with Bananaza Shake by MilkShake Vape Juices. You know, since he can’t have the real thing and mess up his superhero physique, he has to satisfy his craving somehow.
He kicks back in the icy cold forests of Forks, Washington vaping on Nitro’s Cold Brew White Chocolate Mocha. White chocolate to match his pale, glittering skin with the taste of coffee to warm his icy body.
When I started constructing this list I knew I had to add a character from Spongebob Squarepants on here. But for the life of me I can’t imagine any of the beloved main characters vaping. Not even Squidward, because as we all know, nothing brings him joy except his clarinet. He’d rather have that at his lips than an e-cigarette. So that left me with the question, who is Bikini Bottom’s biggest vape enthusiast. And it hit me. It had to be Harold “Bill” Reginold. Known famously for critiquing Mr. Krabs’ “big, meaty, claws”. He seems like a man of refined tastes, who works hard and likes to come home to something simple and nice. Which lead me to conclude he would use the Aspire SkyStar Revvo 210W Kit with the woodgrain finish. At first I began my search with waterproof mods. But I left that practical mindset behind when I remembered that Bikini Bottom is an underwater town with a beach, the ability to burn fire, and where a squirrel can survive wearing a spacesuit that she herself constructed. Also it’s a cartoon.
Anyway, Harold’s vape juice choice was a tough one. But then I recalled his illustrious career at Glove World and decided that perhaps he developed an affinity for amusement park treats. Therefore he’d be defying physics and vaping big underwater clouds of Zonk Cotton Candy juice.
On the subject of cartoons, one of the more recent cartoons infecting pop culture like a parasite that implants fake memories into your head, is Rick and Morty. Rick Sanchez clearly has his vices already, but what's the harm in adding another. In addition to his signature flask I’d like to hand him his new signature vape, the SMOK G-Priv 2 Luxe Edition Full Kit with TFV12 Prince Tank. It has an ultra HD touch screen, looks bad ass, is flashy and colorful, as well as powerful with a maximum output of 230W. The TFV12 Prince Tank holds an impressive 5ml of liquid, which I’m sure Rick can burn through fast with the wide-bore drip tip.
And inside that big tank (and maybe even inexplicably on his lips somehow) would be Cuttwood Bird Brains. A magical little vape juice that mimics all of your favorite fruity breakfast cereals straight from the box, and with a name Rick could use to taunt his best friend Bird Person.
Last but not least is a classic character known for her zany adventures through Wonderland. Alice Liddel would sport a portable pen style vape, sleek, slender, and colorful. She can use it for quick hits at tea parties celebrating un-birthdays, and of course for longer sessions, puffing alongside Absolem The Caterpillar. The perfect device for this would be the Vaporesso Orca Solo 50W Kit. She seems like the kind to fancy the rose gold finish but the mint green would compliment her dress well. It’s an easy starter with a single button, a flash heat system well designed for non-nicotine e-juice, and a mellow 50w… which is good since she’s, you know, a child (Eightvape does not support underage vaping unless you are 100% fictional).
As for her flavor, I think anything by Mad Hatter Juice would delight her. In particular, however, I think Alice would find I Love Donuts Too by Mad Hatter to be exceptionally lovely when paired with tea.
Can you think of any other fictional characters that wouldn't be able to resist a certain vaping device and/or e-liquid flavor? Did we get these products right or do you have other ideas? Let us know in the comments below or on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram!