Vape Me out at the Ball Game
As we hit our zenith of summer, as the grass is that perfect shade of green, the smell of popcorn wafts through the air as children eat ice cream out of tiny helmets that makes one think of a team of small hamsters playing sports...and of course as the World Cup is wrapped up there’s only one thing that can mean.
Are you ready for some baseball?
All across the country, people will be filing into stadiums of all shapes and sizes to sit in uncomfortable seats of only one level of annoyance as they gear up watch a nice, healthy portion of 6 to 9 hours of millionaire stickball. From the sound of the torn ticket stub, to the smell of freshly made concessions, to the desperate look of the people trying to get you to sign up for a credit card in exchange for a cheaply made shirt sporting your team of choice...but not so cheap that you decide to go to the Team Store instead of giving a complete stranger all your most sensitive information.
Now as a vaper, you may be wondering “Hey, what about me, a vaper, when it comes to going to baseball games?” Well you lucky, baseball diamond dog, you, us at EightVape have developed a state-of-the-art breakdown of all the tools you need to get your vape on no matter what team you may be cheering. Personally, my favorite team is the (NOTE TO SELF: INSERT TEAM BASED ON GEO-TRACKING DATA HERE), I’m sure they’ll have a great year.
So where do you begin? Well the most important information you need as a vaping ball fan is to know the rules and regulations for vaping in your venue of choice. While some smaller, minor league or children league facilities may not have vaping rules in place, please use your judgement in every situation, just because you may enjoy the delicious taste of blueberry muffin, as found in Junky's Stash Buried Yesterday, little Timmy and his overly aggressive dad may not appreciate you chugging around the seventh-inning stretch. In cases like these, excuse yourself to a safe distance and enjoy that succulent blueberry flavor...plus they’re kids, I mean what are you going to miss? No one is hitting a grand slam any time soon and I’m pretty sure that one kid in right-field fell asleep while playing with dandelions.
Now when it comes to your major league teams, or their affiliates, it is much more likely they are going to have certain rules in place when it comes to vaping. Also remember that while some are put forth by the organization, some are actually to stay compliant with state laws, so may be a good idea to check those as well. To date, no MLB franchise allows vaping in their stands but many do provide specific areas or smoking areas to accommodate those needing to hit a drag or two off their device. As an added bonus, and in no way endorsed by EightVape and their subsidiaries, leaving your seat during the game opens up opportunity to sneak down to better seating. Another option for stadiums that provide no area for vapers is actually leaving the park but to do so, make sure they provide re-entry because the last thing you want to go is go out to vape and realize that ten minute break just cost you a pretty penny and your only options now are to go home or hit up that weird dude hanging out front who looks like he’s selling scalped tickets, drugs, or some combination of the both.
For an added bonus, here is a handy dandy guide of current stadiums regulations provided from Blu and found at blu.com. Like everyone says “If it ain’t Blu, catch a ‘tude.” (NOTE TO SELF: LOOK UP REAL CATCHPHRASE BEFORE RELEASING)
Now that you know where you can bring your vape materials, now the question is what should you bring? Don’t worry, we’ve got a few suggestions to make your baseball travels smooth.
First off, picture this; you’ve got a hand full of nachos, you've got a hot dog, you’ve got a souvenir cup with your team’s best player on the front and now you want to take a hit off your vape. Do you A) put down your second mortgage worth of concessions where any street urchin can get their grubby fingers on it, B) Use a more compact vape device to easily handle with none of the mess but all the vapey goodness, or C) Re-think your life decisions and go for the water and Slugger-Salad because you’re going to end up with a triple hit of heartburn from all this food you’re holding...and that’s if you’re lucky. Well since you don’t have a time machine and you’ve already bought the food, let’s go with option B.
Eightvape carries a great number of ultra portable systems, pod style devices that will make it immensely easier to vape under the pressure of a baseball stadium corridor filled with fans. For your best options, check out Eightvape.com for the newest options in many styles. For a great all around starter pod device, try the new VooPoo Drag Nano.
Now another thing you need to remember is that baseball is long...like...I think you’re hearing me say “long” and thinking that you understand what I mean but I’m not sure all of you do. For reference the longest game of baseball clocked in at 33 innings, 8 hours 25 minutes back on April 18, 1981. That’s one hour short of being the entire length of the Lord of the Rings trilogy of films, or the actual length of LotR as I don’t see how anyone can’t take an hour nap once Galadriel gets Frodo in that super blue, soft garden. I mean that thing looks like a late-night commercial for a medically subscribed sleep-aid...what was I talking about? Oh yeah, baseball is long.
So just in case you find yourself at a super long game, you may find yourself running dry on voltage after a while. Well luckily for you, Eightvape carries a huge variety of batteries and battery accessories. That way even when you’re wondering if this is all your life is now, just baseball, nothing but the back of the first base coach’s back which after an hour of nothing happening, you’ve bored your eyes so far into, you’re considering stealing second. As one option, you can check out the IMEREN IMR 18650.
Lastly, what would baseball be without the concessions. As previously mentioned, you’re making bad life choices and ordering everything you want off the menu and why not, you’ve been looking forward to this all week, working tirelessly on reports and articles, writing endless jokes about baseball because all you can think about is how much you just want it to be Friday so you can go home and die and hide away from the world...sorry, too real their for a moment.
However, I’m going to make a strong stance here, so be prepared. Popcorn sucks. Now don’t get me wrong, popcorn flavor is awesome, and a bucket is great for comedic effect. For evidence please see the picture below…
See?! Hysterical. I mean you can’t do that kind of prop comedy with just any casual confection, am I right? Also, as an added bonus please enjoy this random, no context spoiler for “Pretty Little Liars” that I've never seen a single second of but that randomly popped up when I Google Image searched “Popcorn Thrown in Air" and it has Nolan North in it, apparently, and this is my article so I'm including it because...what are you gonna do, stop me? Spoilers for...SOME episode of "Pretty Little Liars."
Man, Nolan North is cool...but you know what’s not cool? That’s right. Popcorn. I mean how many times have you found yourself digging kernels out of your teeth like some animal. Do you think that’s attractive? If you do, what’s wrong with you but if you’re a human from Earth, no it’s not. So what if you could get that classic cracker jack flavor with none of the kernels or chewing or the crazy ball park prices or really just any of the annoyance that comes with popcorn? Well now you can! With Pop Deez from Steep Vapors available on Eightvape.com! So grab a bottle and get your popcorn on with 100% less of the hassle.
So as we’re at the bottom of the ninth of this article, you may find yourself feeling ready to get out to your own respective ball games and we encourage you to do your research, get everything you need, and most of all have an amazing time and take lots of picture to send to those of us who are stuck in an office while you’re out there living it up. No...really, I’m happy for you.
Until then, Vape Happy.